is it bad to daydream about you leaving?
it feels like there are days when you’re tired of my presence,
you want nothing from me when I offer you a smile
and then days will pass by
and you’ll regain your charm on me
and I’ll fall in love with you again
but today,
instead of staying with you
I’ll walk away.
little signals
I just want flowers from my lover,
materialistic signs that he still loves me
because sometimes words just aren’t enough.
what if his promises are hollow lies
and his letters are empty thoughts?
the darkness might be hiding a monster
I’ve become scared to take walks at night,
my enemy might stand next to me
telling me to cross the road with
no hesitation.
too many times I’ve walked the same road
thinking that my angel was keeping me safe,
when in fact,
he was the demon that tore me apart.
I’ve become scared to take walks at night,
these abandoned roads lead me to nowhere
and these roads are the only ones that I know.
car rides
words being sold with nostalgia
words consumed by the heart
and drowned by the faint wind
that enters through the windows.
and the radio does its magic,
makes me laugh as the sun shines
blinding me from all the problems that lie ahead.
metaphors go over my head
never thinking any lyrics will relate to me but
the radio proves me wrong at night,
when it’s just me on the road
and the only light that covers me
tells me to stop
slow down
and go to the root of my pain.
another one to break my heart
some days we are one
and other days she splits us
keeping us from getting close
because as much as you like to deny it,
you still love her
you still want her
and me,
I’m left alone.
you tell me not to interrupt
but hold my hand begging me to stay
which makes me question,
Who is winning this game?
a new game
in one day I turned my lover
into my enemy for denying that I ever met him.
now I have to keep this absurd game so I can prove
my ego is always right
maybe in the next days
he’ll leave again
and in a week
he will be back like the rest of them.
•day one•
today I have realized that I am a selfish person,
one who wants it all but won’t give none
leaving without saying goodnight
and coming back without a sign.
keeping silence won’t help me change
but it makes the pain a bit more bearable
my heart is a vacant space
willing to accept anything for none
this time I’ll be here for you
because even though you broke me,
I’m going to change and accept
apologies that rain on my parade
change is on the horizon
and this time
it’s here to pick up what was
left in the shadows
My first poem.
And, in the beginning,
there was only suffering.
time to start again
I haven’t written anything new
because nothing new is happening
my heart is giving up
been saying this since ‘08
but no one is listening
and no one is regretting
the silence that looms.